Maybe fear isn't the right word to use. But in the past few days as we're scrambling to get paperwork done, fingerprints updated, bedroom put together, clothes bought...I'm starting to wonder if I'll be able to handle 2 kiddos at once.
Eriks has been the only kid in our lives for nearly the past 5 1/2 yrs and there are days where life gets very difficult with him but he's just being a kid. He's a good kid most days but there are days where he's just having a tough time. Will I be able to help him out the way I want to when he's having tough days now that I will have to be dividing my time? Is he going to have a meltdown when he realizes that Emi is going to need a lot of our attention because she's just a little over a yr old and can't do the things he can? Is Eriks going to become resentful that we've brought this new person into our family?
I'm so worried about this that I'm literally making myself sick. My stomach is in knots and I feel like I'm going to vomit. I know this is something I want more than anything. So why is making me feel like this?
Any other China parents feel this way before they brought their kiddo home? Is this normal because it's such a life changing experience? And I'm sure this isn't limited to just adoptive parents but includes parents who have had bio children.
Someone say something to reassure me that everything will be just fine.
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Hi Liene! It is your cousin Anna. I think it is called nesting. It happens to both adoptive and bio parents. It is totally normal and you are going to be just fine...as is Eriks. I am sure there will be moments of jealousy, but again-totally normal. He is so excited to have a sister and it will be so fun to watch them playing together. As far as getting the house together...don't stress too much! You can do so much once she is home! She won't care if all the pictures are hung etc. Just a warm bed, a high chair to eat it and a car seat and you are set. The rest you can do once she is home. It will be fun to see what she likes to eat...in China what are finger foods for kids like??? Nicholas' favorites right now are raisins, cheese, grapes, crackers, cheese nips, strawberries, blueberries, and doughnut holes :) I bet Emi has never had a doughnut hole!!! So fun! What and adventure!
I started to reply but it would be too long. I will email you in a while....
I was a nervous wreck before I went to China. I had first time parent nervousness and anxiety. I wasn't sure I was up for the challenge.
It is totally normal to feel this way. I am sure it will be an adjustment for everyone but having Emi in your lives will be so wonderful!
Girl, you are made to love more than one child ! And count on it, he WILL probably more than once ask, no demand ! to send her back to China ! My kids have all done this !
I envy you, I would to spend the whole summer home with my kids !
What fun you will have !
I do remember once when Riley came home, and Raeghan had a melt down and I sat on the floor with her crying asking her what did I do to you ? Well, she and I both got over our crying fits and life is as you know it now ~ crazy !
All natural feelings for the expectant mama !
One day it will feel like she has always been a part of your family and you won't be able to remember life without her !
Charlotte
I think that I felt like this EVERY time I had a kid, no matter how they came into our family. I always worried that I wouldn't have enough time/energy/ attention to give to another child. And yet I always did. And it always turned out fine. Sometimes the only way to discover it is to DO it. YOu'll be okay, Eriks will definitely be okay. He might be jealous a bit, Belle was for sure. But they finally accept it and it's great. Hang in there....you'll do fine!
This is totally normal! I have two birth children and during the last part of my pregnancy I had the same feelings you are having now. It's natural. It's also natural for Eriks to feel a little out of place at first. You'll amaze yourself at how much time you make for both your kiddos. Everything will turn out fine!!!
Again.. it's ALL normal!
I think you are having the same feelings most Mom's have when bringing a new sibling home. Eriks will become the "big" brother and I bet he will want to help you out and spoil his new sister rotten;)
I felt exactly the same way you did. I also added to that list the fact that I was terrified that somehow I was going to ruin Lily by bringing home her sister.
Breathe, because it all works out. Yeah, there are hard days but like you said there are hard says with just one.
Eriks will rise to the occasion and you will be even more proud of him. He will grow in ways that you didn't know a 5 year old could. Your fears are all normal and if you weren't such a good mummy you wouldn't be having them.
Enjoy your time with Eriks as your only child now and know that he will be a fabulous big brother very soon and that you will handle having 2 and before you know it you wil wonder what life was like with only one child.....I promise.
Liene, you are so normal...don't worry. Eriks is so excited, the first thing he talked about on Saturday was his new baby sister and that he was going to give her his toys. I remember when I was pregnant with my 2nd I would cry because I didn't thing I could ever love another child as much as I loved Lauren. God gives mothers a great capactiy to love. The best thing you can do for Eriks is to grow his family. We're going to all love on Eriks....he won't feel left out!
Love ya!
Liz
If you didn't feel this way, I would worry about you! Cullen was 9 years old when we went to China. I still worried about how he would feel! Take a deep breath and let it go. You are going to do great!
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