I have a question for all my blogging buds out there or anyone else who feels like giving me some advice.
This is the situation. Our son plays with a kid who is about 1 1/2 yrs older than he is (the child is 5) and when the two of them get together the 5 year old bullies Eriks. Not only that but when Eriks doesn't want to do what W wants to do, then W gets physical with him and usually Eriks runs in and says, "W hit me!" And of course W says, "Well he hit me." We have taught Eriks that he is not allowed to hit anyone and normally when I actually watch them playing outside I see W hit or push Eriks first and have to call him on it.
Also when the two boys play together if Eriks has a train set, car track, blocks, anything that's been put together, I can guarantee that W is going to go on a demolition spree. He doesn't know how to play nicely with Eriks toys or doesn't want to play with them at all. It's all about being rough and running through my house like a madman.
Well, I've gotten fed up with always playing referee between the 2 and have decided for now that the 2 of them are not allowed to play together. W still comes around asking if Eriks can play and some of the time I make up excuses as to why he can't. What bothers me more is after I say no, I can almost count on W's older brother N to come and ask if Eriks can play about an hour later. This annoys me and I'm almost tempted to call their mother and tell them that if I say Eriks can't play that day, that means he can't play and not to come back asking.
So how would you handle the situation???? I'd like my son to be able to have kids to play with but not when they're going to treat my son or his belongings this way.
4 comments:
I asked my husband about it, being that I had no experience with boys. I hate to say what his response was. It was something like "her son is that kids whipping boy. She needs to find him some new friends and get him away from that boy." Since that is what you seem to be doing you are on the right track, just stick to your guns girl.
Have you talked to Eriks about this? Does he WANT to play with this kid? Does he enjoy it, or does he dread it? Or does he only not enjoy it when he's getting hit? Also, have you considered talking to the mom about it? Like, just having a really low key conversation about how our kids seem to want to be friends, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with how they act with each other...are you?
Just some thoughts!
BTDT. I have actually had a talk with the brat. I would watch them play and stop the brat as he was about to do something. I then told him if he really wants to play then these are the rules (and I layed them out). The next time he broke a rule, I sent his royal brattiness home. The next time he came back, I reminded him why I sent him home last time and asked if he was going to do that again. When he said he would be good, I let them play (of course I watched from a distance). After a couple of times of being sent home, the kid learned his lesson. Don't sugar-coat it! Tell the brat what he is doing wrong (odds are he isn't being told no at home) and tell him what will happen if it continues. If you don't want him playing with Eriks, tell him why. Don't make excuses or he will always be like this! If his older brother comes to the door, tell the older brother why W isn't going to be playing with Eriks. That will send it home for all to hear! Sorry to preach. Cullen is a very gentle soul and won't tell someone off when they deserve it. We have had to teach him it's okay to do it! Good luck!
I'd talk to the Mom. We have gone through this personally. The other mom called me to see how we could work it out and I said, "I've chosen to work it out by restricting my son from playing with yours for awhile. I hope you understand." She didn't -- but my son seems relieved, and peace reigns.
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