I have decided that I just need to not talk about our adoption anymore. I see a pattern developing here. When we decided to adopt we couldn't stop talking about it. We couldn't stop talking about the possibility of birth mothers and meeting them and how quickly the adoption would happen, etc. I couldn't get the nursery together fast enough. Then after 2 years and many failed attempts at meeting birth moms and 1 failed adoption we decided to shut up all together. We just told everyone we knew, don't ask because we're not talking anymore. Whatever happens, happens. So when we were called about a possible meeting with a birth mom out of state we didn't tell anyone where we were going. We didn't even tell anyone we were meeting her. After we met her and she had made the decision to place her son with us once he was born we still kept quiet about it. When we decided to travel for the birth we again said nothing. It wasn't until the night he was born that we told our immediate family and told them they were not allowed to say anything until after Eriks' birth mother went to court and gave up her rights to parent him. So when that happened at 4 pm on the Monday after he was born, we screamed from the rooftops.
We've decided to take this approach with this adoption. We're not talking about SN or NSN children. We're not talking about how we're feeling or if we're any closer. So please don't ask, "How's the China adoption going?" or "Have you heard anything?" We won't answer.
I also think not talking about it will make it easier to deal with the potential wait and keeps us from getting our hopes up that things may speed up, etc. We just need to go on with life. We know it will happen but we're no longer going to try and predict when. It's up to God to decide and if he decides sooner rather than later, of course we'll be thrilled.
You know there's a saying that things happen to people when they least expect it and that's exactly what happened with the adoption of Eriks.
I will post LIDversaries and pictures of secret pal gifts. But other than that, everything else will have nothing to do with the adoption. No more predicting or talking about WC.
So for now, just enjoy the stories and tales of our lives.
1 comment:
I'm sorry it's gotten to this point for you. We got Reese almost 3 years after we started the adoption (signed up with an agency), and during the time we were gathering paperwork, the wait was as low as 8 months. I know it's depressing, to see people come and go with their babies, while you're still waiting.
I know you know this, but just remember: there is a baby at the end of all the heartache.
Monica
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