Dear fellow China bloggers, please let me know if I'm overreacting on this or if you'd feel the same way. I know that several of the people from this message board probably read my blog and I don't really care because this is MY blog and I can discuss anything I want on it.
OK, here's the story...Someone announced yesterday that after less than a year of being LID they received a referral for a HEALTHY baby under a yr old and this is not a Chinese expedited referral. Am I wrong to be pissed off about this??? I made the statement after the announcement that it made me wonder if the agency they are working with is doing anything unethical and of course there was an IMMEDIATE retort that no the agency was not. That reaction doesn't surprise me from someone who received their referral in 9-11 months - they got what they wanted and probably don't care how it happened.
I immediately thought of all of you who and been waiting 18 months or more for your referrals and this person waited about 1/2 that time??? I am truly saddened if the case is that certain agencies are either buying babies or have a means to work the system ie. buying off officials. I know the CCAA keeps stressing that this is not the case but there are ALWAYS corrupt officials of some sort or another in governmental positions. I don't have the answers because I don't have an insider in the CCAA and can only speculate.
So do I have a right to be pissed or am I blowing this out of proportion????
************** Added writing based on Sara's comments ********
She may be SN and that's fine but just say SN referral without giving detail. Hell if you're going to post pictures on your blog and then retort on a message board it's a privacy issue, then don't post the F*ing pictures and not say she's a SN adoption! And if on the message board you act like she's not a SN you deserve to have people pissed at you and assume you adopted a healthy baby. I don't care what the SN is, just at least admit that she's a SN adoption so that this beautiful child who has been rejected by China can be rejoiced by others. I can't be happy for someone who is adopting a baby from China if they give the assumption that she's 100% happy and healthy and there is NOTHING wrong with her. As someone who was a SN child myself, if you try to fool yourself by playing off that this child is not SN, you're actually doing more harm than good for that child. I'm not saying that you should pity the child, but until that SN is corrected you can't act like there's nothing wrong. I'm sure there's a better way to say what I'm trying to convey. All children are special no matter if they're biologically yours or adopted, but SN are EXTRA special. I'm sure those who I know who have SN children or adopted SN will agree with me.
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9 comments:
AMEN sista - be pissed!
what the hell?
I have been waiting 21 months?
It just doesn't sound right. I don't read any rumor sites, but I haven't heard about this.
What's the deal?
What????? I concur with pugalicious, this does not sound right at all. I'm going to go troll the boards now. This pisses me off.
Sorry, didn't mean to curse on your blog. I just visited our DTC board. Based on the comments, I am under the impression that she is SN and Mom is protecting her privacy with regards to sharing information about the SN...my take on it anyway. Weird tho...
We've been waiting for 17 months and MONTHS to go (if not YEARS!) AAARRRRGGGG!!!!
I totally get what you are saying. The more I've thought about this since commenting the more I wonder...it just seems off.
Here's what I don't understand..I thought families in the SN program know who the children are, meaning don't you see a list and then let your agency know you are interested in a child and then it goes from there? Why was this a surprise in that her referral was for a child much younger (and healthy) than she was expecting? If she were in the SN program, wouldn't she already know who the child was? Is there a difference between the SN program and waiting child program?
In summary, hell yeah I think you have a valid feeling in being pissed off. It's pissing me off too! The whole thing is just weird.
AMen... although, I did read on RQ that there is an agency out there getting referrals at about 12 months wait. No agency was named but there was a LOT of hubbub going on about it.
Not a happy 21 month waiter here!!! I HATE HEARING THIS CRAP!! I really hope that agency's are not getting the perf. treatment...
All I can say is "ditto" to EVERYTHING you wrote, as well as what everyone else commented!
I saw that too. I wondered but maybe it was a SN not easily seen in the pic. I do have a friend who started SN but the child she was pursuing died before the TA and she was referred a healthy child after that. But also that happened in 2004, she travelled for her daughter in Feb 2005. The wait wasn't as long after LID but was very long for us singles to even get to start paperchasing. Anyway, the wait sucks, sorry you are in the midst of it. I hope and pray for the waiting families and the children that it will speed up soon.
Beverly
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