Rant (could be long)

No this does not have anything to do with adoption, although the fact that Christmas is getting closer, we have no daughter and Eriks asking on a semi-regular basis where his sister is, breaks my heart. But be forewarned that there could be some profane language used in this post.

I have not been in the holiday mood at all this year. There's a lot going on that I just can't talk about but need to release anyhow. I know most of you have been there before. I have someone I'm close to going through a really rough time in their lives and I can't fix it. I've always been the one that everyone turns to and this time there's nothing I can do to help them. That's all I can really say about it.

I'm also really pissed off at some of the girls that I know from Lane's old squadron. We get together once a month to play a game called Bunco. We play for cash and the person with the most Bunco's at the end of the night wins $50. That's some nice rainy day money. For the other categories most wins, most losses, most mini buncos the winner receives $20 - still not bad. Well this one girl "J" cheated last month so that she would walk out the door with $20 and this month she rolled a bunco before the game had even begun and counted it. There were like 3 others of us that would've forced a roll-off had she not cheated. She was trying to convince me that it counted and to get over it. What pissed me off is that there were others that thought what she did was wrong at the time the incident happened but when it was time to collect the cash, not a single person argued or took my side that she was in the wrong. UGH!!!!!!! I guess that's what happens when you play with a bunch of people who are cliquish and would rather back up the cheater than the outcast. I have been so thankful that Lane switched squadron's in February but it's such a small squadron they don't do things like this. Anyhow, I was this close to turning to her and saying, "If you are so fucking hard up for the money, then go get a job!" She totally took the fun out of it last month as well as this month and if she pulls this shit next month I'm going to make a scene and I won't really give a rat's ass because I already know that the majority of them dislike me. Why, I don't know. I've never been anything but nice to them. Oh, never mind, it's because I don't live in the town of Sherwood where they all live and the 15 minute drive between my house and where they live is so far away for a bunch of lushes they didn't think I'd want to be included. Yeah, so I really don't drink because of my health and because a family member is a recovering alcohol and that has kind me not so interested in pounding it anymore. I know one of them is on her way to being an alcoholic and I feel sorry for her because she's got an 18 month old. I don't drink more for the 1st reason and not the 2nd. Oh well, I don't need a bunch of self-centered bitches as friends anyhow.

My other rant is that people actually get ruder, nastier and meaner this time of year. It seems like the majority have bought into the whole commercialism of the season and what gifts can I get rather than the fact that we're celebrating the birth of Christ. Sorry to offend all you non-religious people out there, but most people balk when I tell them that Santa only brings Eriks one present for Christmas and anything else he gets comes from us. They look at us like we're crazy but we want to teach him that this is the time to celebrate someone who gave us the opportunity to sit and breathe on this earth. I don't think there's any greater sacrifice that could be given than for someone to lay down their life for another. And then that gets me on the topic of the fact that it bothers me how many people still bitch and moan about the military when they themselves have never served a day nor would even fathom the idea. Look at all those men and women who have helped maintain our freedoms. If you see a soldier, thank him or her. They really appreciate it even if they sit at a desk all day because most of them have been deployed at some point in their careers to keep us safe while we sleep. I know Lane has spent months in the desert.

I think that's it for now. My sleep aid is kicking in and more recently than not, I've had to take it because if I don't I'll spend half the night tossing and turning allowing everything to race through my head. Hopefully I'll be able to stop taking it soon.

Here's hoping that things start going the way I want them too so I can have happier posts and don't have to be in this Ebeneezer Scrooge mood. BAH - HUMBUG!!!