Well, the attempt at stopping the irregular heart-rate episodes from happening was a complete wash. They wheeled me down to the Cath Lab Monday morning, sedated me and got all the cath leads up into me and when they purposely set my heart into an irregular heart rate they found that it's just a huge electrical storm that happens rather than one circuit that sets the irregular heart rates. So they aborted the mission and decided they would have to procede with new anti-arrhythmia drugs. So I'm still stuck in the hospital for a few more days since the new med has some potentially serious side effects. I've been on the new meds for almost 3 days now and so far so good. I figure I'll be bailing out of jail, as I refer to my hospital stays by Friday. Tomorrow afternoon would be hopeful, but probably unlikely. At the latest I'll go home on Saturday.
I'll admit that I was really pi$$ed off when they told me it couldn't be fixed. I was hoping for a change something in my life would go my way. I've been dealt one blow after the next it seems like for quite some time. I was hoping my life would get easier and I wouldn't have to live in fear of crazy heart rate issues. That was not to be. I guess it's true that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. However, I still view this as totally unfair. Maybe that's the immature teenager in me screaming and rebelling against life wanting everything to go my way. You'd think that me in my early 30's would realize by now that very little goes the way we expect it to. It's kind of funny how when we're teenagers we think we know everything and oh how we want to be adults so badly. I realize now that although I love my husband, my son and my life in general I think back very fondly on those days between age 15-18 when I was in high school and the wonderful experiences and friendships I had. I traveled, I partied, I had 1 serious and incredible romance with a boy who is now a man, whom I still will always have a little bit of love for (and he knows it too because he is a treasured friend) and thinking back on those days just brings so much warmth inside. A longing for life when days when life was simpler and I had less to worry about. But then I turn and look at the slowly greying man sitting next to me in my hospital room and realized that life wouldn't be the same any other way and for that I am thankful.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
I am sorry it did not work. If you want to talk, have Lane call me with your #
Sorry to hear that you're down. Wish things could have worked out better for you.
But yes...you do have many things to be thankful for. :)
Liene, I'm just now getting caught up on all of my blogs. I'm so sorry to hear the procedure was a wash. :-( I know for my condition, they had to zap my heart 25 times to get the extra electrical currents to stop. (not at all what they had expected) I actually went to Johns Hopkins Medical Center and had the pioneer physician of electrophysiology do my procedure. (not that your physician isn't good - I just wanted the top dog if they were going to touch my heart because I'm freaky about things like that)
I sure hope this new medication works for you!
I am so sorry that it didn't work out for you. I know how it feels to get your hopes dashed like that. The next thing will work for sure!!!
Sorry you aren't going to experience the easy fix.
Your insight is great though...so true that we do what we must and go where life takes us. It's about being thankful and finding our happiness along the way.
As a person in her *late* 30's - I can honestly tell you that the "Unfairness of Life" is a struggle that rears its ugly head over and over again. I can't say that it is that much easier b/c I'm older. Some days it is easier to accept & move on...while others are not. I'm hoping for some more hopefilled days in your near future. XO
Post a Comment