So there's a lot that's been on my mind lately. Some good and some not so good. There's also a few things I need some advice on from all my bloggy buds, friends and whomever else might read my blog.
So here's the situation:
Eriks plays with 2 little boys who are brothers - age almost 8 and just turned 6. Unfortunately we don't live on a street that has lots of kids so there aren't that many kids for Eriks to play with. That's one of the reasons we got him involved in soccer and karate to meet kids his age that he can have play dates with.
Well yesterday he was playing with N(8) & W(6). Eriks and W came back to our house. I was busy and I also wanted to enjoy my Mother's Day so Lane and I said that they could play over here but it had to be in the backyard. They would not be allowed to play inside. The 2 of them trekked outside and played for all of about 2 minutes when Eriks comes running inside saying that W pushed him. I asked W if he did that and he said yes. I promptly said, "W, we do NOT push other people in this house. It is not acceptable behavior. You need to keep your hands to yourself and if you can't then I guess Eriks won't be playing with you until you learn." The boys tore back outside to the front yard where N joined them. Lane was watching them from the front window and sees N push Eriks down to the ground where Eriks ended up hitting his head on the concrete. Eriks got up and dusted himself off but both Lane and I were furious. There was absolutely no reason for N to do this.
I understand that boys tend to play rough however N & W constantly whale on each other. These kids don't know how to be civilized to one another and unfortunately it's rubbing off on Eriks. On Saturday at soccer, one of the kids he was playing with did something and Eriks took a swipe at him. He didn't touch him but the fact of the matter is that my son was being aggressive because things were not going his way. This is why N & W are the way they are because I have never seen them get along. They want their way and if you don't like it they get physical and say nasty things to each other. Eriks is starting to tune into this and has brought these behaviors home. I can't even begin to tell you how when Eriks doesn't get his way with us he screams, says things that I know he doesn't really mean and has occasionally taken an aggressive swing at us. We constantly tell him that is not acceptable and he gets punished but the majority of the time we hear, "Well W & N..." UGH!!!!!
He sees W & N being aggressive with each other and has deemed that as acceptable behavior so he does it as well. Plus N & W have no respect for other people's things. That was obvious when earlier this year W destroyed the tree in the neighbor's yard.
So my question is this, do I have a conversation with the parents about their children and the negative influence they have been on Eriks and how if they can't learn to be nice, take turns and stop whaling on each other then Eriks will no longer be allowed to play with them. I just keep thinking about yesterday and the fact that Eriks could've had some massive head trauma had he hit his head hard enough.
That's the dilemma.
Here's the decision. I'd really like a weekend away this fall - September-ish when the summer has quieted down and before I have to deal with the chaos of moving. Plus the weather is still fairly warm and so I won't be freezing my rear off. But where do I go? I'd really love to meet some of my blogger friends, so that's an option. Another option is a weekend away either by myself or visiting friends that I haven't seen in awhile. I have a good friend in Las Veg@s who I haven't seen in almost 3 years, but we talk on a fairly regular basis.
What would you do? Meet someone new, spend time by yourself or hang out with a friend you haven't seen in a long time?
BTW, if you're one of those that says meet someone new and wants to be that person, convince me why I should meet you : )
The whatever else:
I am a neat freak and my house is anything but neat right now. We're in the process of redoing the office and turning the "catch-all" room into a proper guest room. We know we're moving towards the end of the year and will probably have to put the house on the market in September. I'd actually like to enjoy the changes before I sell. My parents are coming Memorial Day weekend so the rooms have to be painted and put together by then. I'll share when it's complete.
The other issue is that while I'm redoing rooms in my house I'm also doing the, "Before I Move" purge. Happens every 3 yrs. This time around there seems to be a lot more to purge. I've finally made the decision to get rid of all the baby stuff. First, I don't want to move it again and 2nd if I'm really going to need it then I'll just go get a new one. So the rocker, the exersaucer and other baby items are headed toward the garage sale pile. We'll also be selling the desk in the office as we are setting up the El.fa system. If you want to know what it is, look here. It's such an awesome organizational system. We've been talking about it for years. I can't wait to see it put together. I'll post pictures, I promise. The office will definitely be done this weekend.
OK, that's it for now. I've probably got other things on my mind but for the life of me can't remember. I'll check in again in a few days.
Well yesterday he was playing with N(8) & W(6). Eriks and W came back to our house. I was busy and I also wanted to enjoy my Mother's Day so Lane and I said that they could play over here but it had to be in the backyard. They would not be allowed to play inside. The 2 of them trekked outside and played for all of about 2 minutes when Eriks comes running inside saying that W pushed him. I asked W if he did that and he said yes. I promptly said, "W, we do NOT push other people in this house. It is not acceptable behavior. You need to keep your hands to yourself and if you can't then I guess Eriks won't be playing with you until you learn." The boys tore back outside to the front yard where N joined them. Lane was watching them from the front window and sees N push Eriks down to the ground where Eriks ended up hitting his head on the concrete. Eriks got up and dusted himself off but both Lane and I were furious. There was absolutely no reason for N to do this.
I understand that boys tend to play rough however N & W constantly whale on each other. These kids don't know how to be civilized to one another and unfortunately it's rubbing off on Eriks. On Saturday at soccer, one of the kids he was playing with did something and Eriks took a swipe at him. He didn't touch him but the fact of the matter is that my son was being aggressive because things were not going his way. This is why N & W are the way they are because I have never seen them get along. They want their way and if you don't like it they get physical and say nasty things to each other. Eriks is starting to tune into this and has brought these behaviors home. I can't even begin to tell you how when Eriks doesn't get his way with us he screams, says things that I know he doesn't really mean and has occasionally taken an aggressive swing at us. We constantly tell him that is not acceptable and he gets punished but the majority of the time we hear, "Well W & N..." UGH!!!!!
He sees W & N being aggressive with each other and has deemed that as acceptable behavior so he does it as well. Plus N & W have no respect for other people's things. That was obvious when earlier this year W destroyed the tree in the neighbor's yard.
So my question is this, do I have a conversation with the parents about their children and the negative influence they have been on Eriks and how if they can't learn to be nice, take turns and stop whaling on each other then Eriks will no longer be allowed to play with them. I just keep thinking about yesterday and the fact that Eriks could've had some massive head trauma had he hit his head hard enough.
That's the dilemma.
Here's the decision. I'd really like a weekend away this fall - September-ish when the summer has quieted down and before I have to deal with the chaos of moving. Plus the weather is still fairly warm and so I won't be freezing my rear off. But where do I go? I'd really love to meet some of my blogger friends, so that's an option. Another option is a weekend away either by myself or visiting friends that I haven't seen in awhile. I have a good friend in Las Veg@s who I haven't seen in almost 3 years, but we talk on a fairly regular basis.
What would you do? Meet someone new, spend time by yourself or hang out with a friend you haven't seen in a long time?
BTW, if you're one of those that says meet someone new and wants to be that person, convince me why I should meet you : )
The whatever else:
I am a neat freak and my house is anything but neat right now. We're in the process of redoing the office and turning the "catch-all" room into a proper guest room. We know we're moving towards the end of the year and will probably have to put the house on the market in September. I'd actually like to enjoy the changes before I sell. My parents are coming Memorial Day weekend so the rooms have to be painted and put together by then. I'll share when it's complete.
The other issue is that while I'm redoing rooms in my house I'm also doing the, "Before I Move" purge. Happens every 3 yrs. This time around there seems to be a lot more to purge. I've finally made the decision to get rid of all the baby stuff. First, I don't want to move it again and 2nd if I'm really going to need it then I'll just go get a new one. So the rocker, the exersaucer and other baby items are headed toward the garage sale pile. We'll also be selling the desk in the office as we are setting up the El.fa system. If you want to know what it is, look here. It's such an awesome organizational system. We've been talking about it for years. I can't wait to see it put together. I'll post pictures, I promise. The office will definitely be done this weekend.
OK, that's it for now. I've probably got other things on my mind but for the life of me can't remember. I'll check in again in a few days.
4 comments:
I would definitely say something to that mother!
I actually have to vote for Vegas! I LOVE Vegas! Such a fun place! Now that Briana is here, it will be a while before I can go back. Boo! :)
Hmmm - tough dilemma. I'm not very confrontational, so I'd probably not say anything, but I'd quit letting my son play with them and not invite them over. If the mom would ask why, then I'd probably say why. Q has a sometimes playmate that can get rougher than we like as well. It tough, b/c he really likes to play with him, but we end up "de-programming" him for a few days after. Good luck with whatever you decide.
As for your trip, why not choose Indiana??? ;-) I hear it is lovely in the fall.....
Have a great week!
Will speaking to the parents accomplish anything? Do you know them and are they likely to respond well to what is criticism (however justified) of their children? I firmly believe in the saying 'children learn what they live.' It would seem these two boys have learned a way of interacting with each other that is either being condoned or ignored at home by the parents, so I would really wonder if speaking to parents will help. I think my temptation would just be to limit/stop the time Eriks has to play with them. I would guess the friendship will be ending anyway when you move so why not just end it earlier.
As for your break - do both if possible. Visit your Vegas buddy and maybe some bloggers at the same time!
I would have to agree with Lindsay. Kids learn from what they see. Most likely talking with the parents would just get the children yelled at and most likely hit. Does that sound familiar?
I would just limit your sons exposure to those children. Hard to do, but probably necessary.
In response to where to go. Go gamble, girl!
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